~ "The Mustache Ride" ~
Scr O t O riaL: i heard you like to converse zebrahead01: i heard ur sources are good Scr O t O riaL: the best, theyre the best a man can get Scr O t O riaL: just like gillette zebrahead01: i heard that you said that i heard someone say something sweet Scr O t O riaL: i did, and it sounded like this: "bohw ba baouh chicka bow baouhw chickchicka baohuwaaaa zebrahead01: thats not what i heard Scr O t O riaL: tell me what you heard man zebrahead01: i heard it sounded like "bada bing bada blah" while "ehhh ooo aahhh" sounds were happening Scr O t O riaL: haha, mabey i was wrong, cause i like those alot zebrahead01: ya, thats definatly what i heard. did u hear anything else? Scr O t O riaL: a little something like: "momamo momamo tikity tikiday momamo flarf snoooooog" from a man with a deep and sexually apealing voice zebrahead01: did he have a mustache? Scr O t O riaL: it was soo thick and dark and glorious zebrahead01: i think i have heard about him zebrahead01: some lady with a double chin told me he said "jusafat ya ya ya, bladapt hurrof ahhh whhoaaa nopt" about himself. Scr O t O riaL: thats a pretty accurate description zebrahead01: she also said one time he said he was gonna "yooop kerrrtp soofrt"...right to her face! Scr O t O riaL: dude, he looked exactly like this
zebrahead01: thats exactly how she described him to me Scr O t O riaL: well she was right, that is one mustache ride that i'll never forget zebrahead01: you got to ride his mustache? Scr O t O riaL: ye man, i was a fantastic vouyage zebrahead01: that lady told me she rode it once.... zebrahead01: then she gave him a mouth hug and he said "wha wha whhooo yurrrop" and then passed out Scr O t O riaL: its a lot of work to give mustache rides, often people suffer heart failure in the middle of it zebrahead01: she told me that half way through her arm fell asleep so she smacked herself in the leg zebrahead01: her double chin got rug burn from the mustache ride as well. she called him a "goouy tolfhue" afterwards. Scr O t O riaL: i heard that after he wakes up from being passed out he usually relaxes by the fire with a nice corn cob pipe and discusses politics whith the person he just gave the ride to. zebrahead01: you heard right zebrahead01: she told me that he is a republican, but prefers to have sex with democrats. Scr O t O riaL: he is quite the interesting individual, one of the few aristocrats i've known intimately zebrahead01: he never told me you had intimate sessions with him Scr O t O riaL: well it surely is the truth zebrahead01: she said that he only gives intimate sessions to himself with his mustache Scr O t O riaL: maybe he is a swindler zebrahead01: what did he say about it? Scr O t O riaL: alot of incoherent mumbling zebrahead01: see last time i talked to him he said that she said that you heard about someone trying to stab his mustache Scr O t O riaL: i did hear that, I was minding my own business in line at the brass doorknob shop, when i overheard stealth assasins discussing the possible stab festival on the glorious lip decoration zebrahead01: ya the guys down at the hair salon told me the same thing Scr O t O riaL: i would need 347 days of mourning if such an ill fate would fall upon the spectacular facial hair creation zebrahead01: well we are going to have to put a stop to this zebrahead01: last time i talked to her she said "oiurrr hooushy"...wich makes me belive she is in on the mustache stabing zebrahead01: what should we do? Scr O t O riaL: that devious, two-timing whore of a bitch of a bastard. Scr O t O riaL: I suggest that we tie her down, pull her pants off, take all the extra loose skin from her vagina, pull it back under her legs and staple it to her ass cheeks, this will create a "poo hammock" effect, in which when she shits, the poo is contained in pouch that we have created from her vagina skin, I deam this a reasonable punishment for such a crime zebrahead01: i agree Scr O t O riaL: splendid zebrahead01: she will suffer in her own poo Scr O t O riaL: as she should zebrahead01: what about the stealth assasins? Scr O t O riaL: I've been unable to locate their whereabouts, you have seemed to overlook the fact that they remain stealth at all times zebrahead01: well then, we need a device to solve this "stealth" problem Scr O t O riaL: i deem you responsible for the design of such a device zebrahead01: i say we take her while she is in her "poo hammock" and staple her in a remote location zebrahead01: maybe that will atract the stealth assasins Scr O t O riaL: That is a good idea, somewhere that the stench of her poo will be able to circulate through the air easily so that the assasins may smell, and attempt to help, in which case they must expose themselves. I say chicago would be a good place, all the wind would dispence the poo smell quickly zebrahead01: ah yes, the windy city Scr O t O riaL: precicely zebrahead01: well i think we will also need to assemble an army. how could we possibly take out all of the assasins by ourselves? Scr O t O riaL: we need weapons and man power zebrahead01: well we could tie missiles to his huge mustache and launch them at the "poo hammock" creating a huge "poo explosion"... but we still need more artillary Scr O t O riaL: indeed, i like that idea, or we could fill grenades with angree bees, and toss the bee grenades creating a brutal slinger festival zebrahead01: this could be the biggest operation in saving a mustache ever Scr O t O riaL: but its like a monument to mushaches everywhere zebrahead01: exactly zebrahead01: when shall we create the "poo hammock"? Scr O t O riaL: as soon as possible i suppose zebrahead01: we also need a way to ship the "poo hammock" to chicago zebrahead01: perhaps a cargo plane? Scr O t O riaL: its not that big, we could use anything, even a hot air baloon zebrahead01: excellent zebrahead01: we will steal one from the circus Scr O t O riaL: nice zebrahead01: this will all take place tomorrow at exactly 12:00 pm in chicago Scr O t O riaL: superb zebrahead01: you inform him of our plans so he can prepare his mustache zebrahead01: i'll take care of the rest zebrahead01: we will meet at the circus tomorrow at 9:00 am, bring the mustache. victory will be ours! Scr O t O riaL: I'll be there, mustache and all zebrahead01: perfect. ok, i must be running. i have to get back to the salon before it closes.... zebrahead01: and when this is all over, i better get a fucking mustache ride Scr O t O riaL: I'm sure that he will repay you for the pertection with an enchanted mustache ride zebrahead01: agreed. see you tomorrow
